Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
