that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
