i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
