Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
