She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
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I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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