Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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