I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.