i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
As shirtless as possible
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
