Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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