btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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