shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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