I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
