North Korea, Best Korea!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
