Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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