i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
