He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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