he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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