I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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