he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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