i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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