I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he fucked my hip out of place.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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