How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
