Already got asked if we're dating
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
