i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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