It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
