i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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