maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
All I want is dick and wine.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
