Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
