Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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