dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
