He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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