you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
so much tequila, so little girl.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
