By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
