Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
