im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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