Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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