OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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