singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
