I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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