I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
