i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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