Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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