Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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