So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
