i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
