3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Barsexuality is the new black.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
