I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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