Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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