i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
