I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
