So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
