He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You dont lie about slip and slides
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
