And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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