Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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