I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
