I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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