it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize