i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
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Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
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Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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