If i come over, it means nothing
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
