Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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