I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
