Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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